I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
