Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
