he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
