was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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