You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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