wakey wakey hands off snakey
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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