this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have feelings that need drinking.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
