i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
