called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My vagina is officially offended.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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