I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
