K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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