question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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