We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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