Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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