YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
