i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
