Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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