i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
