Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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