Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
