So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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