is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
