So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I've blown a few things in my day
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
