member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
