ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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