And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
