How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
