I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
