do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize