All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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