M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
