you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
