ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
