I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
