Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
