Buhtt sex?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
