Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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