roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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