I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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