p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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