I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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