You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
