Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
