i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
