That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
