Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
