I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
