real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
