You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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