New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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